The Infamous NO PLAY J
January 21st, 2002, 06:21 PM
Your Church Might Be A Redneck Church If...
** The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because no one in the church knows how to play it.
** The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," then five guys and two women stand up.
** Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
** A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck; because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
** The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
** In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
** Baptism is referred to as "branding".
** There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
** Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
** High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor a howling.
PEACE
** The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because no one in the church knows how to play it.
** The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," then five guys and two women stand up.
** Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
** A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck; because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
** The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
** In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
** Baptism is referred to as "branding".
** There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
** Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
** High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor a howling.
PEACE