The power of math

[Kuni]

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

"Dear Wife:

You must realize that you are 54years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.

* Your Husband"


When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

"Dear Husband:

You, too, are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Don't wait up Honey."

[Lanceboyl]

nice...

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?” he asked one man.
“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied.

“Oh, come along with me then,” instructed the lawyer.

“But, sir, I have a wife and two children!”

“Bring them along!” replied the lawyer. He turned to the other man and said, “Come with us.”

“But sir, I have a wife and six children!” the second man answered.

“Bring them as well!” answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The lawyer replied, “No problem. The grass at my home is almost a foot tall.”

[Kuni]

This joke will date me.

Three Bums in Toronto, an American, a Russian and a Brit were sitting around. The Yank hears the Kennedy is coming to town and decide to go. Comes back later and says I told Kennedy that I was down and out and he gave me a $1,000,000 US see ya. Next week the Queen decides to visit and the Brit gets 500,000 pounds. So when the Russian hears that Khrushchev is in town he decides to try the same. So he's standing at the side of the road eating straw. Khrushchev notices a fellow Slav and asks him what's wrong. The Russian goes through his I'm down on my luck story and ask Khrushchev for help. Khrushchev says well for starters it's summer so eat Hay, save Straw for winter.