How DUMB are you when talking to DAVE?

[nonames666]

I would just to like to hear some responses about how "dumb" you can play when on the phone with the reps.

Some of my all-time dumbest/favorites are:

"I think there's something wrong. It says 'Please Insert Access Card', what is that all about?"

Rep: "Please read me the number off the back of your card."

"I see a whole lot of numbers, where do I start."

I'm sure you all have some real good ones, so let's hear them!:D

[whitetail]

Why would you even bother calling Dave if you're in this hobby?

[klules]

Rep: "Please read me the number off the back of your card."


this box has a card??

[nonames666]

Originally posted by whitetail
Why would you even bother calling Dave if you're in this hobby?

A number of reasons:

1)To subscribe
2)To just plain nag over such instances as SFSS and why this happens as my friend's digital cable never says anything like this???
3)Billing issues
4)Change programming

The list goes on....

[whitetail]

The reason why I asked is because if you are testing, then you don't want Dave to know. I don't subscribe so I don't have any reason to call Dave.

[sigtau]

Rep: Have you or anyone else messed with or removed the access card?

Me: Card? What card.

Rep:The access card that you installed when you first subscribed.

Me: I installed? I don't understand this sort of thing. I'm sure somebody else installed this.

Rep: Please open the cover and look at your access card

Me: How do you get this door to open?.....Oh, wow...there IS a card in here!
.....it just went on and on.

[Buckeye_01]

Originally posted by whitetail
The reason why I asked is because if you are testing, then you don't want Dave to know. I don't subscribe so I don't have any reason to call Dave.

When freeware is totally dead, you should get used to calling that number to keep your HU 24.00 a month sub active so you can test.

Some people (like me) keep the basic sub on the card so we can use a GOOD bin when the blacklist is turned back on. 24.00 a month to keep an H card active is a drop in the bucket for all the programming I get!

[erick2243]

canadians cannot

[nonames666]

Me: How do you get this door to open?.....Oh, wow...there IS a card

LOL! Who would've guessed??!!

[typhoon]

rep: You say the screen says 'to start service call ext711'? Then you need to unplug the receiver, wait ten minutes and then plug it back in.
you: Do you think I'm stupid, all the other hackers and hobbiests have already told me that! I just want to know if you have an idea how to get my tiers not to fall off so quick!!
:)

[phoztech]

This is an actual phone conversation I had....

REP: is your phone line connected?

ME: Um no it is not ...

REP: Well in order for me to fix your problem the phone line needs to be connected...

ME: Oh ok, well i guess i need to hang up so you can dial into the phone line and the dss receiver will pick up....

REP: SIR NO DONT HANG UP!

ME: well how are you going to fix it if i am talking to you on the phone line?

REP: the phone line does not have to be connected for me to fix it...

ME : But I thought you said it did?....

REP: (silence.........)

[so.calguy]

everyone already knows canadians are dummies anyway. so why in the world are you callin dave when you can't even sub? oh that's right. CANADIANS ARE DUMMIES!:gg

[nonames666]

There's a term I'm not familiar with - DSS receiver?????

What is that, your satellite box??? :D

[Philjanak]

Canceling a subscription.

Me: I just don't have time to watch TV any more.
Rep: Are you sure, we have excellent programming.
Me: Yes. I'm just going to hook up the old antenna.
Rep: How about free HBO and Cinemax for 6 months.
Me: No thanks, I'd rather watch TV using my antenna.

[nonames666]

Well good ol' NoNames will be adding to this card swap confusion ;) for no other reason but to amuse myself.

I'm in a panic because, "WHERE IS MY NEW CARD?" I saw the commercial and it said I only have a couple of weeks. What am I going to do? I pay my bill, but if you're just going to cut me off anyway what's the point.

When I had digital cable, I didn't have to fool with all of this access card mess; maybe I'll go back.

The commercial says "safe, reliable continuation of joy" what in the world does that mean?

Will my satellite stop going out when it rains now? It better, or else what is the point of all this?

Any other suggestions or actual conversations, if/when I/you can get through are welcome! :D

[datahole]

WHat do you mean my card number or address is not in the system?
When did you subscribe?
I paid the guy at best buy $300 for a year of everything
What do you mean paid the guy at best buy?
When i bought the system, said I can have all channels for $300
Was some special promo for cash paying customers
So you never called to subscribe when you setup you reciever?
No was all done at Best Buy
Sir, you must subscribe to recieve television, through us only
You are in possesion of an illegal device I believe
Well then send me back my $300 and pick this up
Sir we did not take $300 from you
Yes you did, how else would you give me TV?