My 2Cents

[Bone Daddy]

Let me relate a story that happened last night and kept me up..I live in a Townhome attached to others..My friend threw a little get together and I got to meet his neighbors..The guy was an ex-marine pretty big though seemed to be even tempered.His wife very pretty and nice..The drinking wore on and I left to retreive another bottle..Long story short..When I get back to my buddies , this ladys hubby was in their apt. getting something and she's all tears confessing that this guy beats the hell outta her..Now I wouldn't let that happen in front of me!I had no proof and she was hammered, so I looked for clues..Some people say things out of anger when their drinking so I just couldn't call the cops..My very drunk buddy takes it upon himself to blert out he thinks that guys who hit women are trash..Then this guy bows up and snatches his wife up and goes home..Grabbed her hard but not that hard?I don't know..I feel like ---- about it..I wouldn't have let him hit her,I'm not a small guy myself.Real men don't hit women...I just don't know what to do?

[Hells_Rectum]

That is one of those things that you just have to stay out of. When she gets tired of it, she will leave him. You won't change him, or her.

I know, it sucks.

[Bone Daddy]

All these reads and no responces Thanx hell I feel awful..It makes sense now, she was very skiddish, she just about jumped out of her skin when I walked behind her..It's bad enough fighting b/t 2 men or 2 women , but hitting a women just burns me up...

[easyrider]

Unless this guy wants to openly discuss it with you, the end results will be, he will be PO'd about it (and at you too) and she will take the brunt of it for revealing it to you. She has to take the first step to ending it and not just accept it and continue live in constant fear. Just one other thought. Does she provoke this guy knowing he has a short fuse?

[Bone Daddy]

She said this in private to my buddy and get this her sister-in-law works with my buddies wife..She verified that her sister-in-laws getting hit..It's not like she can't do better...I really don't believe, looking back now, she was asking for it(but I get what you're saying)

[blcjet]

In most situations like that, a woman will leave when she is truely ready to leave. Before that moment, she will usually choose to go back to her significant other time and time again. Until she reaches that point all you can really do is be there for support, but be very careful as you will be made out to be the bad guy if much more is done. Just let them know that you are they if they need help. There's not much more that can be done until the woman decided that she is ready to take the step to break away from that destructive behavior.

[Bone Daddy]

That would be great but I don't know them(her) enough even to feel comfortable being a friend.Plus I'm moving to a different state next week..Also She works only part time and thay only have one car, so I believe she feels trapped..??This guy is pretty big..Shoot

[The Foxy One]

Speaking form a woman’s side. I understand her fear I understand her cry for help and she is frightened to make the first step to freedom, I don’t know how old she is or her the length of marriage but that can play a part in it. Taking the step to change her life is scary to her not knowing how she’ll live after she leaves.
So she may just be looking for advice in the matter or maybe she just wants out of the marriage and doesn’t know where to turn. Some times thing’s happen to you and you don’t know where to look for help or how to even start.
People well tell complete strangers things before the will family members because now day’s family seams to be too busy to help each other or listen to you.
Most Woman don’t have the will power to leave in that kind of situation there to scared to think on there own I’ve seen this happen he controls her every way he can.
But Still she has to be the one to do something about it.

The Foxy One;)

[Bone Daddy]

She's 34 NO kids! Thank god .And they're common law married..My buddy came over awhile ago and we discussed this alittle further..It turns out she was married young before to a guy she said was worse than this other dude...I'm beginning to feel this guy satisfies some need in her..I don't understand what the heck is going on...

[BigDog4All]

This is a desicion SHE will have to make. No one can make it for her.

Personally, I will not live with anyne that is gonna kick my azz. It's just that damn simple. Life is too damn short. I can miserable all by myelf, I don't need anyone to make me miserable.

And from my talks, she is searching out for starters, but eventually she will see the light.

Where is this guy from, Mars or somewhere? He needs to come to the Dog's School of Loveology.

1. Women are Gods greatest creatures
2. You handle their feelings with care
3. You spoil them
4. You do and provide whatever makes them happy
5. You be understanding & caring
6. You better handle your business, or someone else will.
7. It's a simple equation, listen twice as much as you talk. Why, you got two ears and only one mouth.

And as to the azzhole that feels you need to hit women, come hit my azz. I got something that you may really enjoy. For if you want to exoerience pain, I know several ways to satisfy you. And if pain doesn't help you, I always keep me battery acid for those that want real joy.

Remember, it's not the size of a man, it's the size of his heart, and if you hit women, your heart ain't sh!t, so kicking your azz should be rather eazy for me.

I rest my case...

[Bone Daddy]

As always BigDog comes to the rescue and slices thru the bull ..Is the BigDog School Of Loveology available in a zip file for easy downloading? And to Jungle Yes she is co-dependant, talked to her this morning and now the story is he's not bad I just make him mad by being flirtatious...Bullsh@t! i saw the bruises on her arm from where that turd grabbed her..We live near a big city and there are shelters 15 min. down the road..She's not ready to see that even 1 beating is a 1000 too many!!I'm washing my hands of this but still feel like crap!!

[easyrider]

Instead of washing your hands, keep a safe distance and do some observing. There may be something to learn from this.

[Bone Daddy]

I'm moving to Upstate NY in a week..1000 plus miles from here..i would love to stay and smack this guy with a 2 by 4 but I won't be physically around to protect her..PS Dr Jungle lol must have a perscription for those cataracs...

[easyrider]

Then spend what time you can by watching. Learn to "read" people by their actions. It will benefit you in the long run.. trust me...;)

[Hells_Rectum]

One thing I have noticed.... Some women seem to like it. Don't take that the wrong way. I have an old friend that was that way. One day she told me, "Every guy I have been with has beat me". I had seen her in action. She would start it every time. Always in public. She would smack the guy upside the head and it was on. Glad I never dated her. ;) I have seen this several times. I do not feel sorry for this type of woman.

Some don't like it and don't start it, but they just don't know where to run away to. It can be scarry to pack up and leave out on your own, if you have never been alone before. Most of these women have always lived with a guy, since they moved out of their parents' homes. I do feel sorry for this type, but it is up to her to get the hell out and hit the highway. Nothing you can do but look from a distance.

Anyway, cheer up dude.

[djc33]

Dude, I here you loud and clear.

I have stepped in on 2 different occasions where a man was hitting a woman. My dad taught me many lessons, and his 2 biggest were. Men don't hit woman, and you don't rat on your buddys.

The first time was when my wifes best friend was getting hit by her husband. We suspected it, but then one night in the bar he slapped her. I was about 15 feet away, but I got to him before he could slap her a 2nd time. It was a sticky situation because this guy was a friend. Roughed him up a bit. She finally wised up and left him. However, I don't think she would have if she didn't meet someone else who wanted her out of there. She is nor married to this someone else and very happy.

The second happened only a few months ago. Again, in a bar (that should tell us something), this guy sitting a few feet away smacked his girl. He was kind of rough with her, hard to explain, while they were sitting there. When they left the bar me and a few friends, including my wife, watched them walk down the block. When they got 1/2 a block away he kicked her. That was it. My wife called the cops while we gave this guy a beeting. While this guy was waiting there for the cops we made sure that he understood that the girl had the number of the bar and that at anytime she could call there and we would be on our way to finish the job on this jackass. We also made sure we took his address so we could find him. The cops locked him up, but I don't know what happened after that.

In hind site, I probably shouldn't have got involved in the 2nd one. There is a chance that she got a worse beeting because of it. I don't know, I just don't understand it.

A woman has to make the decision to leave.

I know this didn't help, but I wanted to let you know that I understand where you are coming from.

later,
djc33

[Bone Daddy]

All the responses have been thoughtful.The problem is there is no easy way to step in, either it's the cops or nothing at all..Too much(maybe) or little to no help..I know this guy won't strike her in front of me...The only person that can help her is her..I can't see into their apt. and worse still she's clamped up, doesn't even venture outside...it's not like I can walk up to the door and invite them out, he knows I know...I'm starting to get upset with her for not seeing what I am seeing..It's always easier to give advice than to take it...

[CadNazi]

If you see it happen react. If you don't see it all you can do is offer the lady help. My wife works with a lady that this happened to. She offered to let the lady stay with us when she left. She said that having somewhere to go helped he make the decision.

Gl, I know it's gotta be tough