Mechanic
June 19th, 2002, 06:12 AM
The latest viruses sweeping across our nation's information superhighway
in 2002.
So, take extreme caution and be on high virus alert at all times!
Beware of:
THE GEORGE W. BUSH Virus...(Causes your computer to think it won the
election even though the motherboard and fatherboard bought it.)
THE AL GORE Virus...(Causes your computer to just keep counting)
THE CLINTON Virus...(Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive but NO memory.)
THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus...(Makes a new hard drive out of an old
floppy)
THE LEWINSKY virus...(Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails
your best friends about what it did).
THE RONALD REAGAN virus...(Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored)
THE JESSE JACKSON virus...(Warns you constantly about illegitimate file
reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background and
rhyming it all)
THE MIKE TYSON virus...(Quits after two bytes)
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus... (Your 150 mb drive balloons to a 300 mb hard
drive shrinks to 100 mb, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200 mb.)
THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus...(Deletes all old files)
THE PROZAC virus...(Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care)
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus...(Only attacks minor files)
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus...(Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back) and last but not least...............
THE LORENA BOBBITT virus... (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch
floppy, then discards it through Windows)
in 2002.
So, take extreme caution and be on high virus alert at all times!
Beware of:
THE GEORGE W. BUSH Virus...(Causes your computer to think it won the
election even though the motherboard and fatherboard bought it.)
THE AL GORE Virus...(Causes your computer to just keep counting)
THE CLINTON Virus...(Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive but NO memory.)
THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus...(Makes a new hard drive out of an old
floppy)
THE LEWINSKY virus...(Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails
your best friends about what it did).
THE RONALD REAGAN virus...(Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored)
THE JESSE JACKSON virus...(Warns you constantly about illegitimate file
reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background and
rhyming it all)
THE MIKE TYSON virus...(Quits after two bytes)
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus... (Your 150 mb drive balloons to a 300 mb hard
drive shrinks to 100 mb, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200 mb.)
THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus...(Deletes all old files)
THE PROZAC virus...(Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care)
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus...(Only attacks minor files)
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus...(Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back) and last but not least...............
THE LORENA BOBBITT virus... (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch
floppy, then discards it through Windows)