simple
June 23rd, 2002, 05:34 AM
>>Bar rules
>>
>>1. If you are older than 20 glow sticks are not cool ........... no
>>exceptions
>>
>>2. A quarter is not a good tip ................ no exceptions
>>
>>3. Yes .............. I see your tits ............ No I won't give
>>you a
>>free drink (I probably would have if you didn't ask)
>>
>>4. Do not stand and talk at the bottom of stairs(especially if you
>>are going to bitch about how crowded it is or ask your boyfriend to
>>fight the steroid freak who just stepped on your new $200 shoes
>>that
>>should never have been worn to the bar in the first place)
>>
>>5. If you're standing in line for a drink ........ take that time
>>to think
>>of what you want. If you get to the wood and don't know what you
>>want get to
>>the back of the line you are costing me money(if this happens twice
>>in one
>>night , expect me to flag a bouncer to kick you in the nuts and
>>take half
>>your money for being a dumbass.)
>>
>>6. Don't ask for that fruity thing you had while on vacation in
>>WHOKNOWSWHERE .... I don't have a ----ing clue what's in it...
>>
>>7. Do not touch the staff, we think you are sleazy, you look sleazy
>>and yes
>>the girls know it wasn't just a accident .............. actually
>>this goes
>>for you girls as well, you look pretty stupid with your hands all
>>over the
>>bouncers chest.
>>
>>8. Do not puke in a club ........... no exceptions (some poor kid
>>has to
>>clean it up!)
>>
>>9. The bar closes at 2:00, unless you are sleeping with staff DO
>>NOT wait
>>until 3:00 to finish you drink and get your coat.
>>
>>10. Listen to the bouncer, he does not EVER want to hear your side
>>of the story.
>>
>>11. Every once in a while stop and think ...... is this a good
>>place for me
>>to stand. If you are in the middle of a traffic jam, move, DO NOT
>>continue
>>your conversation.
>>
>>12. Do not tickle the armpits of the busboy. Why people think this
>>is funny
>>I will never understand ...... do you LIKE to put you hand in his
>>sweaty
>>armpit? Do you want him to drop the 35lbs tub above his head?
>>
>>13. Unless you do, do not act like you own the club.
>>
>>14. I only SELL water in bottles because you are high on "e" and
>>not buying
>>booze...i still have to make a living you know.
>>
>>15. my pens are exactly that MINE...so unless i get a copy of your
>>number too, bring your own!
>>
>>16. when its busy don't lean on the bar and block traffic...order,
>>tip,
>>MOVE!
>>
>>17. if you walk around with your martini waving it about as you
>>tell
>>your fab stories and someone knocks it DO NOT come to me and expect
>>a new one....really.
>>
>>18. don't ask what kind of beers i have, make me rattle off all 300
>>types
>>and then order a ----ing Budweiser anyway.
>>
>>19. when your so pissed you lost your coat check ticket...do not go
>>and yell at the girls because they cant find your BLACK LEATHER
>>JACKET...EVERY jacket in there is a black leather jacket!
>>
>>20. It's nice that it's your birthday...but I don't recall you
>>buying me a
>>shot on mine....so remind me WHY you think I owe you one on yours?
>>
>>21. do not expect a free drink or sympathy if you get bitch slapped
>>for no reason just because you ran from one end of the bar to the
>>other to get front row seats for a fight you have no business in.
>>
>>22)VERY IMPORTANT!!!! If you are not paying with cash, please wear
>>a big
>>----ing sign that says "i was too stupid to stop and get cash so
>>please kick
>>my stupid ass out of line and point me to the nearest ATM"
>>
>>23)For the ladies ----if you ask if i have a girlfriend and i say
>>yes, take that as a big hint!! If i really thought you were hot...
>>i'd lie, tell you i was single ,and give a doorman the signal to
>>let
>>him know to let you stay in the bar after close because you will be
>>sleeping with me at his house tonight (he will be running the
>>camera).
>>
>>24)Do not yell my name from the far end of the bar just because you
>>met me
>>five years ago at my 3rd cousins 2nd wedding to your
>>ex-father-in-law. If i
>>don't remember you without you telling me then you won't be getting
>>priority.
>>
>>25)Of course you know the owner--but he signs my paycheck so ----
>>off---last call ended 20 minutes ago for every one including you!
>>
>>26)What happens at the staff party stays at the staff party
>>
>>27)To the girfriends of my fellow bartenders---ofcourse he doesn't
>>cheat on you, who in there right mind would sleep with young,hot,
>>trashy, drunk girls wearing virtually no clothes who want nothing
>>but one night stands and will let the other bartenders watch?
>>
>>28)Leave the D.J. alone, he hates you.
>>
>>29)If you girls really want free drinks , grab one of your hot
>>friends and make out in front of the bartender.Why no one has
>>figured this out i will never know!
>>
>>30) If a bouncer isn't smiling, he's probably got a pretty good
>>reason
>>(either you're too ugly to smile at, or he's pissed of at something
>>that has
>>nothing to do with you). We're working here; when as the last time
>>you had a
>>-----eating grin on your face at your job?
>>
>>31) No, you can't listen or talk on the doorman's headsets, so
>>don't
>>ask. We're probably just talking about how fat your ass is anyway.
Simple.
>>
>>1. If you are older than 20 glow sticks are not cool ........... no
>>exceptions
>>
>>2. A quarter is not a good tip ................ no exceptions
>>
>>3. Yes .............. I see your tits ............ No I won't give
>>you a
>>free drink (I probably would have if you didn't ask)
>>
>>4. Do not stand and talk at the bottom of stairs(especially if you
>>are going to bitch about how crowded it is or ask your boyfriend to
>>fight the steroid freak who just stepped on your new $200 shoes
>>that
>>should never have been worn to the bar in the first place)
>>
>>5. If you're standing in line for a drink ........ take that time
>>to think
>>of what you want. If you get to the wood and don't know what you
>>want get to
>>the back of the line you are costing me money(if this happens twice
>>in one
>>night , expect me to flag a bouncer to kick you in the nuts and
>>take half
>>your money for being a dumbass.)
>>
>>6. Don't ask for that fruity thing you had while on vacation in
>>WHOKNOWSWHERE .... I don't have a ----ing clue what's in it...
>>
>>7. Do not touch the staff, we think you are sleazy, you look sleazy
>>and yes
>>the girls know it wasn't just a accident .............. actually
>>this goes
>>for you girls as well, you look pretty stupid with your hands all
>>over the
>>bouncers chest.
>>
>>8. Do not puke in a club ........... no exceptions (some poor kid
>>has to
>>clean it up!)
>>
>>9. The bar closes at 2:00, unless you are sleeping with staff DO
>>NOT wait
>>until 3:00 to finish you drink and get your coat.
>>
>>10. Listen to the bouncer, he does not EVER want to hear your side
>>of the story.
>>
>>11. Every once in a while stop and think ...... is this a good
>>place for me
>>to stand. If you are in the middle of a traffic jam, move, DO NOT
>>continue
>>your conversation.
>>
>>12. Do not tickle the armpits of the busboy. Why people think this
>>is funny
>>I will never understand ...... do you LIKE to put you hand in his
>>sweaty
>>armpit? Do you want him to drop the 35lbs tub above his head?
>>
>>13. Unless you do, do not act like you own the club.
>>
>>14. I only SELL water in bottles because you are high on "e" and
>>not buying
>>booze...i still have to make a living you know.
>>
>>15. my pens are exactly that MINE...so unless i get a copy of your
>>number too, bring your own!
>>
>>16. when its busy don't lean on the bar and block traffic...order,
>>tip,
>>MOVE!
>>
>>17. if you walk around with your martini waving it about as you
>>tell
>>your fab stories and someone knocks it DO NOT come to me and expect
>>a new one....really.
>>
>>18. don't ask what kind of beers i have, make me rattle off all 300
>>types
>>and then order a ----ing Budweiser anyway.
>>
>>19. when your so pissed you lost your coat check ticket...do not go
>>and yell at the girls because they cant find your BLACK LEATHER
>>JACKET...EVERY jacket in there is a black leather jacket!
>>
>>20. It's nice that it's your birthday...but I don't recall you
>>buying me a
>>shot on mine....so remind me WHY you think I owe you one on yours?
>>
>>21. do not expect a free drink or sympathy if you get bitch slapped
>>for no reason just because you ran from one end of the bar to the
>>other to get front row seats for a fight you have no business in.
>>
>>22)VERY IMPORTANT!!!! If you are not paying with cash, please wear
>>a big
>>----ing sign that says "i was too stupid to stop and get cash so
>>please kick
>>my stupid ass out of line and point me to the nearest ATM"
>>
>>23)For the ladies ----if you ask if i have a girlfriend and i say
>>yes, take that as a big hint!! If i really thought you were hot...
>>i'd lie, tell you i was single ,and give a doorman the signal to
>>let
>>him know to let you stay in the bar after close because you will be
>>sleeping with me at his house tonight (he will be running the
>>camera).
>>
>>24)Do not yell my name from the far end of the bar just because you
>>met me
>>five years ago at my 3rd cousins 2nd wedding to your
>>ex-father-in-law. If i
>>don't remember you without you telling me then you won't be getting
>>priority.
>>
>>25)Of course you know the owner--but he signs my paycheck so ----
>>off---last call ended 20 minutes ago for every one including you!
>>
>>26)What happens at the staff party stays at the staff party
>>
>>27)To the girfriends of my fellow bartenders---ofcourse he doesn't
>>cheat on you, who in there right mind would sleep with young,hot,
>>trashy, drunk girls wearing virtually no clothes who want nothing
>>but one night stands and will let the other bartenders watch?
>>
>>28)Leave the D.J. alone, he hates you.
>>
>>29)If you girls really want free drinks , grab one of your hot
>>friends and make out in front of the bartender.Why no one has
>>figured this out i will never know!
>>
>>30) If a bouncer isn't smiling, he's probably got a pretty good
>>reason
>>(either you're too ugly to smile at, or he's pissed of at something
>>that has
>>nothing to do with you). We're working here; when as the last time
>>you had a
>>-----eating grin on your face at your job?
>>
>>31) No, you can't listen or talk on the doorman's headsets, so
>>don't
>>ask. We're probably just talking about how fat your ass is anyway.
Simple.