robinhood
August 7th, 2002, 11:19 AM
Eradicating Terrorists
Pentagon officials announced this week they have a new plan that will
greatly shorten the time required to eradicate any remaining al-Qaeda
and
Taliban terrorists still in Afghanistan.
The latest plan to drive the terrorists out of Afghanistan's mountainous
regions is to send in a team of East Texas Redneck Special Forces.
Billy Bob, Bubba, Red, Tiny, Joe Bob, Scooter, and Cooter are being sent in
with the following info about al-Qaeda and Taliban members:
1. The season opens when they arrive
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickup trucks, country music, or Jesus.
5. Some are queer.
6. They don't like barbeque.
7. They think Jane Fonda is a babe.
8. They were responsible for Dale Earnhardt's death.
Standard military equipment such as Humvee's, M-16 rifles and MRE's are
being replaced with 4-wheel drive trucks, deer rifles and beer. They
will
also be encouraged to bring along their redbone chase dogs and their
pitbull catch dogs. The Pentagon feels that this operation should be
completed in a few weeks so the guys will be home for opening day of
dove
season. Cost should also be significately reduced. The only fear is
that
the beer budget may drive the cost of the operation over budget if it
last
past open day of dove season.
Pentagon officials announced this week they have a new plan that will
greatly shorten the time required to eradicate any remaining al-Qaeda
and
Taliban terrorists still in Afghanistan.
The latest plan to drive the terrorists out of Afghanistan's mountainous
regions is to send in a team of East Texas Redneck Special Forces.
Billy Bob, Bubba, Red, Tiny, Joe Bob, Scooter, and Cooter are being sent in
with the following info about al-Qaeda and Taliban members:
1. The season opens when they arrive
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickup trucks, country music, or Jesus.
5. Some are queer.
6. They don't like barbeque.
7. They think Jane Fonda is a babe.
8. They were responsible for Dale Earnhardt's death.
Standard military equipment such as Humvee's, M-16 rifles and MRE's are
being replaced with 4-wheel drive trucks, deer rifles and beer. They
will
also be encouraged to bring along their redbone chase dogs and their
pitbull catch dogs. The Pentagon feels that this operation should be
completed in a few weeks so the guys will be home for opening day of
dove
season. Cost should also be significately reduced. The only fear is
that
the beer budget may drive the cost of the operation over budget if it
last
past open day of dove season.