crownvic
October 28th, 2002, 01:11 PM
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I
asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen
nuggets,"said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I
>replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
"So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a
couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash
register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't
get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she
picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she
could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me "Do you know how much
this is?" and I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't
think I'll buy that today." She said "OK" and I paid her for the
things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what
she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and
they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the
ATM "thingy".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should
have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't
get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store)
would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have
an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she
answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key
and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One
day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper,"the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home
was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire
need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
Twister.
I asked the manager what had happened.
He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and
then went in the back to make a sandwich.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IDIOTS AT WORK... Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two
for a dollar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>IDIOTS & COMPUTERS... My neighbor works in the operations
department in the central office of a large bank.
Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one
of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke
coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
downtown?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE: I was sitting in my science class,
when the teacher commented that the next day would be
the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly
excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the
amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.
Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"AND NOW FOR THE KILLER" :D
____________________________________________________________________
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to
a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the
copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they
thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie
detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
____________________________________________________________________
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I
asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen
nuggets,"said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I
>replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
"So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a
couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash
register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't
get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she
picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she
could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me "Do you know how much
this is?" and I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't
think I'll buy that today." She said "OK" and I paid her for the
things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what
she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and
they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the
ATM "thingy".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should
have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't
get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store)
would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have
an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she
answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key
and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One
day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper,"the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home
was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire
need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
Twister.
I asked the manager what had happened.
He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and
then went in the back to make a sandwich.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IDIOTS AT WORK... Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two
for a dollar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>IDIOTS & COMPUTERS... My neighbor works in the operations
department in the central office of a large bank.
Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one
of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke
coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
downtown?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE: I was sitting in my science class,
when the teacher commented that the next day would be
the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly
excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the
amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.
Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"AND NOW FOR THE KILLER" :D
____________________________________________________________________
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to
a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the
copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they
thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie
detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
____________________________________________________________________