Paramedic
December 29th, 2000, 03:52 PM
I received this via e-mail (where else? lol) and I thought it was kinda funny. Admittedly, I'm easily amused, but that's another story. :) Enjoy, [yellow]Paramedic[/color]
[red]THE THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL[/color] (Devilishly clever)
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student
was so "profound" that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up
when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving
into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the
different religions that exists in the world today. Some of
these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in
Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than
the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Teresa during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold
day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account
the fact that I still have not succeeded in having ---ual
relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.
[red]THE THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL[/color] (Devilishly clever)
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student
was so "profound" that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up
when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving
into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the
different religions that exists in the world today. Some of
these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in
Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than
the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Teresa during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold
day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account
the fact that I still have not succeeded in having ---ual
relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.