zcubed
March 24th, 2001, 09:48 PM
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, work history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME______________________________
DATE OF BIRTH____/____/____
2. HEIGHT__________WEIGHT__________IQ__________GPA________
3. SOCIAL SECURITY#__________DRIVER'S LIC#__________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK____________________
5. HOME ADDRESS__________CITY/STATE__________ZIP__________
6. DO YOU HAVE ONE MALE AND ONE FEMALE PARENT?__________IF NO, PLEASE EXPLAIN__________
7. NUMBER OF YEARS PARENTS MARRIED__________
8. DO YOU OWN A VAN?__________MOTORCYCLE?__________TRUCK WITH OVERSIZED TIRES?__________WATERBED?__________
9. DO YOU HAVE AN EARRING?__________NOSE RING?__________
BELLY BUTTON RING?__________
10. IN 50 WORDS OR LESS, WHAT DOES "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER MEAN TO YOU?____________________________________
11. IN 50 WORDS OR LESS, WHAT DOES ABSTINENCE MEAN TO YOU?_____________________________
12. CHURCH YOU ATTEND?__________
13. WHEN WOULD BE THE BEST TIME TO INTERVIEW YOUR FATHER?__________MOTHER?__________
MINISTER?__________
ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS BY FILLING IN THE BLANK. PLEASE ANSWER FREELY. ALL ANSWERS ARE CONFIDENTIAL (THAT MEANS I WON'T TELL ANYONE).
14. A. IF I WERE SHOT, THE LAST PLACE ON MY BODY I WOULD WANT WOUNDED IS THE__________
B. IF I WERE BEATEN, THE LAST PLACE I WOULD WANT BROKEN IS MY__________
C. A WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN THE__________
D. THE ONE THING I HOPE THIS APPLICATION DOESN'T ASK IS__________
E. WHEN I FIRST MEET A GIRL, THE THING I NOTICE FIRST IS HER__________
15. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE IF YOU GROW UP?__________
I SWEAR THAT ALL OF THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
____________________________________
SIGNATURE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST. PLEASE ALLOW FOUR TO SIX YEARS FOR PROCESSING. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED IN WRITING IF YOU ARE APPROVED. PLEASE DO NOT CALL OR WRITE (as it will delay your application).
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, work history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME______________________________
DATE OF BIRTH____/____/____
2. HEIGHT__________WEIGHT__________IQ__________GPA________
3. SOCIAL SECURITY#__________DRIVER'S LIC#__________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK____________________
5. HOME ADDRESS__________CITY/STATE__________ZIP__________
6. DO YOU HAVE ONE MALE AND ONE FEMALE PARENT?__________IF NO, PLEASE EXPLAIN__________
7. NUMBER OF YEARS PARENTS MARRIED__________
8. DO YOU OWN A VAN?__________MOTORCYCLE?__________TRUCK WITH OVERSIZED TIRES?__________WATERBED?__________
9. DO YOU HAVE AN EARRING?__________NOSE RING?__________
BELLY BUTTON RING?__________
10. IN 50 WORDS OR LESS, WHAT DOES "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER MEAN TO YOU?____________________________________
11. IN 50 WORDS OR LESS, WHAT DOES ABSTINENCE MEAN TO YOU?_____________________________
12. CHURCH YOU ATTEND?__________
13. WHEN WOULD BE THE BEST TIME TO INTERVIEW YOUR FATHER?__________MOTHER?__________
MINISTER?__________
ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS BY FILLING IN THE BLANK. PLEASE ANSWER FREELY. ALL ANSWERS ARE CONFIDENTIAL (THAT MEANS I WON'T TELL ANYONE).
14. A. IF I WERE SHOT, THE LAST PLACE ON MY BODY I WOULD WANT WOUNDED IS THE__________
B. IF I WERE BEATEN, THE LAST PLACE I WOULD WANT BROKEN IS MY__________
C. A WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN THE__________
D. THE ONE THING I HOPE THIS APPLICATION DOESN'T ASK IS__________
E. WHEN I FIRST MEET A GIRL, THE THING I NOTICE FIRST IS HER__________
15. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE IF YOU GROW UP?__________
I SWEAR THAT ALL OF THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
____________________________________
SIGNATURE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST. PLEASE ALLOW FOUR TO SIX YEARS FOR PROCESSING. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED IN WRITING IF YOU ARE APPROVED. PLEASE DO NOT CALL OR WRITE (as it will delay your application).