santa

[noshoes]

>>>
>>>Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good
>>>boy all yeer.
>>>YeR FReND, iLLy
>>>
>>>Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career as a
>>>lawncare
>>>specialist. How about I send you a damn book so you can learn to
>>>read
>>>and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least
>>>HE
>>>can spell!
>>>Santa
>>>
>>>*******************************************************
>>>
>>>Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I
>>>ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
>>>Love, Sarah
>>>
>>>Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
>>>Santa
>>>
>>>*******************************************************
>>>
>>>Dear Santa, I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck.
>>>Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!
>>>Love, Joey
>>>
>>>Dear Joey, Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna
>>>torch
>>>your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do
>>>with.
>>>Santa
>>>
>>>*******************************************************
>>>
>>>Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas I'd
>>>like
>>>for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you
>>>can do.
>>>Love, Teddy
>>>
>>>Dear Teddy, What, and ruin that hot little affair your dad's still
>>>having with the babysitter? He's banging her like a screen door in
>>>a hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
>>>Santa
>>>
>>>*******************************************************
>>>
>>>Dear Santa, I need more Pokemon cards please! All my friends have
>>>more Pokemon cards than me. Please see what you can do.
>>>Love, Michelle
>>>
>>>Dear Michelle, It blows my mind. Kids are forcing their parents tobuy
>>>hundreds of dollars worth of these stupid cards, and none of you
>>>snot-nosed brats are even learning to play the game. Let me get you
>>>something more your speed, like "Chutes and Ladders."
>>>Santa
>>>
>>>*******************************************************
>>>
>>>Dear Santa, I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes,
>>>a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
>>>Love, Francis
>>>
>>>Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays?
>>>Santa
>>>
>>>*******************************************************
>>>
>>>Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I
>>>left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.
>>>Love, Susan
>>>
>>>Dear Susan, Milk gives me the ----s and carrots make the deer fart
>>>in my
>>>face. You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal
>>>and some Toblerone.
>>>Santa
>>>
>>>*******************************************************
>>>
>>>Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you
>>>making toys?
>>>Your friend, Thomas
>>>
>>>Dear Thomas, All toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas,
>>>where
>>>I spend most my time squeezing cocktail waitresses asses, and losing
>>>all my cash at the craps table. Hey, YOU wanted to know!
>>>Santa
>>>
>>>*******************************************************
>>>
>>>Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know
>>>when we're awake, like in the song?
>>>Love, Jessica
>>>
>>>Dear Jessica, You are that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do,
>>>I'm skipping your house...
>>>Santa
>>>
>>>****************************************************
>>>
>>>Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please
>>>please PLEASE
>>>Timmy
>>>
>>>Timmy, That whiney begging ---- may work with your folks, but that crap
>>>don't cut it up here. You're getting a sweater again.
>>>Santa
>>>
>>>*******************************************************
>>>
>>>Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get
>>>into our home?
>>>Love, Marky
>>>
>>>Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why you're
>>>getting
>>>your ass whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's
>>>a low-rent apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get
>>>inside
>>>your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
>>>Sweet Dreams!
>>>Santa
>>>
>>>
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