Mrs C
April 28th, 2001, 06:17 PM
I'm just takin' it down a different road :D
Why don't men eat more M & M's?
They are too hard to peel.
Why do men need instant replays on TV-sports?
Because they have forgotten what happened after 30 seconds.
How is a man in bed like microwave food?
30 seconds and he is done.
What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A bar of chocolate.
What's the definition of Male Chauvinist Pig?
A man who hates every bone in a woman's body - except his own.
Why do blonde women have bruises around their navels?
Blonde men aren't that clever either.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
How are boyfriends like cockroaches?
They hang around the kitchen and it's hard to get rid of them.
What piece of furniture was named after the typical man?
The La-Z-Boy recliner.
Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
A mental hospital.
What is the only weight lifting many men do in a day?
Lifting themselves out of bed and doing arm curls with beer can dumbbells
What's the easiest way for a wife cause hearing loss in her husband?
Say she wants to talk to him.
When do men insist that women are illogical?
When a woman doesn't agree with them.
What's the real reason men can't communicate?
It's hard to drink beer and talk at the same time.
Why do so few men end up in heaven?
They never stop to ask for directions
What are the only two kinds of men?
Studs and duds.
What can a woman find at both gyms and singles bars?
Dumbbells.
...The Blonde...
Why don't men eat more M & M's?
They are too hard to peel.
Why do men need instant replays on TV-sports?
Because they have forgotten what happened after 30 seconds.
How is a man in bed like microwave food?
30 seconds and he is done.
What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A bar of chocolate.
What's the definition of Male Chauvinist Pig?
A man who hates every bone in a woman's body - except his own.
Why do blonde women have bruises around their navels?
Blonde men aren't that clever either.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
How are boyfriends like cockroaches?
They hang around the kitchen and it's hard to get rid of them.
What piece of furniture was named after the typical man?
The La-Z-Boy recliner.
Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
A mental hospital.
What is the only weight lifting many men do in a day?
Lifting themselves out of bed and doing arm curls with beer can dumbbells
What's the easiest way for a wife cause hearing loss in her husband?
Say she wants to talk to him.
When do men insist that women are illogical?
When a woman doesn't agree with them.
What's the real reason men can't communicate?
It's hard to drink beer and talk at the same time.
Why do so few men end up in heaven?
They never stop to ask for directions
What are the only two kinds of men?
Studs and duds.
What can a woman find at both gyms and singles bars?
Dumbbells.
...The Blonde...