wannano6
June 5th, 2001, 06:39 AM
Today we mourn the passing of a friend by the name of Common Sense.
Common sense lived a long life but died from heart failure. No one really knows
how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes,
factories and offices. He helped folks get jobs done without fanfare and
foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over
Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know
when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm, and life isn't
always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the
kids), and it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends
including, body piercing, whole language, ebonics and new math. His health
declined when he became infected with the "If it only helps one person it's
worth it" bug.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of
overbearing federal regulation. He watched in pain as good people became ruled
by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. Common Sense knew the end was
near when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies, reports of
six-year-old boys charged with ---ual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen
suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, when schools had to get parental consent to
administer aspirin to a student but cannot inform the parent when the female
student is pregnant or wants an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than
victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to
professional sports. Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept
informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos,
low-flow toilets, smart guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory
air bags.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. Three
stepbrothers survive him: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral unfortunately, because so few realize he is gone.
Common sense lived a long life but died from heart failure. No one really knows
how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes,
factories and offices. He helped folks get jobs done without fanfare and
foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over
Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know
when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm, and life isn't
always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the
kids), and it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends
including, body piercing, whole language, ebonics and new math. His health
declined when he became infected with the "If it only helps one person it's
worth it" bug.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of
overbearing federal regulation. He watched in pain as good people became ruled
by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. Common Sense knew the end was
near when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies, reports of
six-year-old boys charged with ---ual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen
suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, when schools had to get parental consent to
administer aspirin to a student but cannot inform the parent when the female
student is pregnant or wants an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than
victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to
professional sports. Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept
informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos,
low-flow toilets, smart guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory
air bags.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. Three
stepbrothers survive him: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral unfortunately, because so few realize he is gone.