simple
September 7th, 2001, 07:15 PM
IDIOT AT THE PHONE COMPANY:
>
> This week, all our office phones went dead and I had
> to contact the telephone repair people. They promised
> to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked
> if they could give me a smaller time window, the
> pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call
> you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how
> he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't
> working. He also requested that we report future
> outages by email.
> Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?
>
> IDIOTS AT WORK:
>
> I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase
> when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on
> the back of the credit card. She informed me that she
> could not complete the transaction unless the card was
> signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was
> necessary to compare the signature I had just signed
> on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front
> of her. She carefully compared the signature to the
> one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would
> have it, they matched.
>
> IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
>
> I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new
> neighbor call the local township administrative office
> to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on
> our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by
> cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
>
> IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
>
> My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a
> taco. She asked the person behind the counter for
> "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only
> had iceberg.
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
>
> I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
> airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in
> your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I
> replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
> know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we
> ask."
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
>
> The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to
> cross the street. I was crossing with an
> intellectually-challenged coworker of mine when she
> asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained
> that it signals blind people when the light is red.
> Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind
> people doing driving?!"
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
>
> At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker
> who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our
> manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should
> do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all
> just looked at each other with that
> deer-in-the-headlights stare.
>
>
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
>
> I work with an individual who plugged her powerbar
> back into itself and for the life of her couldn't
> understand why her system would not turn on.
>
>
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
>
> When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
> dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys
> had been locked in it. We went to the service
> department and found a mechanic working feverishly
> to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from
> the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
> handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
> "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"
> To which he replied, "I know - I already got that
> side."
>
> NOW DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?
>
Simple.
>
> This week, all our office phones went dead and I had
> to contact the telephone repair people. They promised
> to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked
> if they could give me a smaller time window, the
> pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call
> you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how
> he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't
> working. He also requested that we report future
> outages by email.
> Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?
>
> IDIOTS AT WORK:
>
> I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase
> when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on
> the back of the credit card. She informed me that she
> could not complete the transaction unless the card was
> signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was
> necessary to compare the signature I had just signed
> on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front
> of her. She carefully compared the signature to the
> one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would
> have it, they matched.
>
> IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
>
> I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new
> neighbor call the local township administrative office
> to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on
> our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by
> cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
>
> IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
>
> My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a
> taco. She asked the person behind the counter for
> "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only
> had iceberg.
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
>
> I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
> airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in
> your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I
> replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
> know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we
> ask."
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
>
> The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to
> cross the street. I was crossing with an
> intellectually-challenged coworker of mine when she
> asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained
> that it signals blind people when the light is red.
> Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind
> people doing driving?!"
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
>
> At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker
> who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our
> manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should
> do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all
> just looked at each other with that
> deer-in-the-headlights stare.
>
>
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
>
> I work with an individual who plugged her powerbar
> back into itself and for the life of her couldn't
> understand why her system would not turn on.
>
>
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
>
> When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
> dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys
> had been locked in it. We went to the service
> department and found a mechanic working feverishly
> to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from
> the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
> handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
> "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"
> To which he replied, "I know - I already got that
> side."
>
> NOW DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?
>
Simple.