slappy_bender
October 2nd, 2001, 12:46 AM
k these are a couple of stupid kiddie jokes that I heard waaay back(ok so it was yesterday);)
and without further adeu,
Hey did you hear about the Indian that drank fifteen gallons of tea just to prove a couple of cowboys wrong when they said it couldn't be done?
Yeah he was doing fine until that night.....he drowned in his teepee.
(GROOOOOAAAN)
I saved the best for last here;)
There once was a man that believed in signs so when he saw an add that said "play lotto today" he went a bought a ticket. Now much to his delight his ticket won. Yep, This guy won himself 29 million plus a mansion and a cute little dog. Since this guy was a little superstitious and believed in signs(would't you?) when it came time to name his dog he decided to name it for the first thing he saw. Lo and behold, the first thing he saw while walking along(his limo was in the shop i guess) was a crack in the sidewalk. So he decided to call his dog "Crack" Then, not long after that he decided that he had to name his mansion as well. He just couldn't decide what to call it, so he decided to walk through the rooms and name it for the first thing he saw. Well as luck would have it, Harry the Butler walked in just then. Thus his estate became known as "Harry the Butler Manor" or "Harry But" for short. Well things were just hunky dory for a couple of months when one day his dog Crack didn't show up. after searching high and low all day he finally hopped in his limo and drove to the police station. He walked to the missing persons department and yelled at the top of his lungs
OFFICERS, YOU HAVE GOTTA HELP ME! I LOOKED ALL OVER MY HAIRY BUTT AND COULDN'T FIND MY CRACK!
Peace.
-------On a side note, something similar happened to my pastor when he was getting started the ministry.
There was an usher in the church by the name of Harry Butts(swear to God)(even my paster's wife and kids backed him up on this one)
and one day there were a couple of elderly ladies that were visiting for the first time. they were being escorted to their seats when it became apparent that they could't find a pew. The ushers were setting up folding chairs where they could and one of them asked another one "Hey could you set up a couple of chairs for those two ladies over there with Harry Butts?(Swear to God, I have about five witnesses on this one) ANYWAY, needless to say, those two ladies walked out of the church in a huff and never came back.
and without further adeu,
Hey did you hear about the Indian that drank fifteen gallons of tea just to prove a couple of cowboys wrong when they said it couldn't be done?
Yeah he was doing fine until that night.....he drowned in his teepee.
(GROOOOOAAAN)
I saved the best for last here;)
There once was a man that believed in signs so when he saw an add that said "play lotto today" he went a bought a ticket. Now much to his delight his ticket won. Yep, This guy won himself 29 million plus a mansion and a cute little dog. Since this guy was a little superstitious and believed in signs(would't you?) when it came time to name his dog he decided to name it for the first thing he saw. Lo and behold, the first thing he saw while walking along(his limo was in the shop i guess) was a crack in the sidewalk. So he decided to call his dog "Crack" Then, not long after that he decided that he had to name his mansion as well. He just couldn't decide what to call it, so he decided to walk through the rooms and name it for the first thing he saw. Well as luck would have it, Harry the Butler walked in just then. Thus his estate became known as "Harry the Butler Manor" or "Harry But" for short. Well things were just hunky dory for a couple of months when one day his dog Crack didn't show up. after searching high and low all day he finally hopped in his limo and drove to the police station. He walked to the missing persons department and yelled at the top of his lungs
OFFICERS, YOU HAVE GOTTA HELP ME! I LOOKED ALL OVER MY HAIRY BUTT AND COULDN'T FIND MY CRACK!
Peace.
-------On a side note, something similar happened to my pastor when he was getting started the ministry.
There was an usher in the church by the name of Harry Butts(swear to God)(even my paster's wife and kids backed him up on this one)
and one day there were a couple of elderly ladies that were visiting for the first time. they were being escorted to their seats when it became apparent that they could't find a pew. The ushers were setting up folding chairs where they could and one of them asked another one "Hey could you set up a couple of chairs for those two ladies over there with Harry Butts?(Swear to God, I have about five witnesses on this one) ANYWAY, needless to say, those two ladies walked out of the church in a huff and never came back.